Cuts
by SecretlyDying
Summary: Rose has been Ignored her whole life. Even by her best friend and the boy she loves. Who happen to be the same person.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Rose

I sat on my bed, in the 6th years Gryffindor girls dormitory. I was alone so I let the unwanted but extremely persistent thoughts run through my head. I knew what these thoughts resulted in but I thought them anyway.

I remembered how just that day I had tried to talk to my best friend, Scorpius, but he had ignored me and went to talk to someone else. And how when I tried to talk to Hugo he just went right on talking to one of his friends. I remembered talking to my only girl friend and having her talk right over me about her problems. This was just today. And today was a good day.

Then I think back and remember all those times over the years where, even as a little girl, people dismissed me. No one cared about me. No one wanted to know what I think. No one ever thought, hey maybe Rose would have a cool opinion on this. No one cared enough to see the hurt in my eyes when my parents ignored me. Or the tears that welled up when my nana didn't listen. No one cared about the silent tears that raced down my cheeks once I was alone. I was unloved, uncared for, abhorred, superfluous, neglected.

The words flash through my head over and over. _No. One. Cares. _

Remembering these things I began to shrink, growing smaller and smaller until I felt so insignificant and unloved that I began to cry. The silent tears ran down my face. I reached for the knife on my bedside table. I put the knife to the scarred skin on my arm. And I cut. The pain shot up my arm, but no blood was drawn. The knife was dull from how many times I've done this. So I did it again. In the same spot. Until the scarlet red drops began to pool over the cut. Then I moved on. I did this until the area below my elbow was red either from the blood of the irritation from the cuts.

I remember the first time I did this. It was after my boyfriend ignored me for 2 straight weeks. Then only talked to me to tell me that we were over, that he had started seeing another girl and liked her better than me. He told me I was whiny and ugly and yelled at me until I cried. It was the first time I've ever cried in front of someone. I hated it.

When I went to talk to Scorp about it he dismissed me saying he had bigger issues to worry about. No one else would listen either. Albus or Hugo or Tina. Nobody. So I cut. I could only bear to do it a few times because i wasn't used to the hurt, but after doing it for 3 years now I can cut up my whole arm and it still won't be enough. I've been alive for 16 years and people still don't listen to me. Maybe I'll just give up soon. I can just disappear no one will miss me. No one will notice. Maybe I'll even disappear for good. It would be easier.

After a while of this you'd think it would get easier for me. But it didn't. I never got used to it. It never helped that the boy I loved also ignored me. But what made that worse is that he's also my best friend.

As all of these thoughts slipped through my mind, I drifted off to sleep. Into yet another nightmare.

_I'm laying on the floor of the dungeons. I get up and look around. Then I hear screaming from a class room a little ways ahead. I see Scorp tied down to a table. A man stands over him with a knife. Sorp already has cuts down both of his arms. Long and jagged and deep trailing from his shoulder to his hand. Blood pours over his arms. The man takes the knife, cutting lines over his face and chest. Scorp cries out in pain. I hate the sound. It slices through my brain like an icicle. I panic and run to him. The man with the knife puts the blade against his throat. _

"_One step closer and off comes his head" he says. _

_I run from the scene up to the great hall where everyone is eating dinner and I scream and scream for someone to help but no one hears me. I can hear my voice echoing but no one so much as looks at me. I go up the the professors table and plead them to help but they don't listen either. Defeated I make my way down to the classroom in which i saw Scorp. And there he still lays. But the man is gone. Because he is dead. I go over the the table. His wonderful and gorgeous body is covered in blood. the cuts are deep but not deep so deep that i can see his insides. His body is still warm. I look down at him. He looked vulnerable. I touched his cheek, and started to cry. But my tears were blood. It poured down in torrents. My bloody tears were adding to the blood on his chest. But when they touched him the wounds got bigger and continued to bleed. _

I woke up, drenched in a cold sweat. My sheets were tangled around me. The blood from my earlier cuts had stained them. My mind flashed back to my dream, and start to cry.

_**A/N-Please review tell me what you think. I know this is really short but I'd like to get some feed back. Where do you think the story should go? Should I continue with it? I have a general idea where I want the story to go but hearing your thoughts would be great. Thanks. **_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I sat in the charms classroom while professor McMillan rambled on up front about the bobblehead charm. I'd already read the whole charms book so I already knew about all the spells he was talking about. I'd started to pass my time by reading the books we were assigned for class since no one ever felt an urge to do anything with me. The books made me feel a little less alone. I could just wrap my mind up in a snug ignorant blanket and forget about all my problems and just take in what's right in front of me. I didn't have to block out the painful thoughts. I could just be. It's wonderful.

After I finished all of the class books I began taking copious amount of books from the library. I'd stay up all night reading so I could escape the nightmares. I ran on coffee all week then only slept on the weekends. I know how bad that is for me but I'm still one of the top five best student in Hogwarts. I guess inheriting my mother's brains made it a bit easier but the pressure of having the parents I have is unbelievable. Everyone expects me to overstep all boundaries and achieve everything my parents did and more which is fucking impossible since I don't fancy reviving the great and mighty Lord Voldemort just so that I can kill him again. I probably couldn't kill him anyway so I'd be thrown in Azkaban for bringing back the most evil and destructive dark wizard of all time. So no thank you but I think I'll be an underachiever instead.

Don't get me wrong I love my parent's but sometimes... Let's just say that I don't always love them as much as I should.

I guess I just wish that they would listen to me because after I said my first word as long as I can remember I can't talk to anyone, especially them, without being interrupted.

"_Mom can I-" _

"_Rosie have you cleaned your room yet?" _

"_Yeah but I was-" _

"_Good we'll be heading to grandma's in thirty minutes go get ready"_

"_I am ready. Can I ask-" _

"_Good. I've got to go get ready, no time to chat. Make sure your brother's ready to go." _

I've had more conversations like that than I can remember.

I was wondering back to my dormitory after supper that night when I heard Scorpius calling my name. I turned around and saw him making his way down the corridor towards me. His long legs eating up the corridor. At 6'5" he easily made his way to me in record speed while still looking casual. With him being as tall as he is and my being 5'3" he towers over me.

"Hey I was wondering if you could help me with the transfiguration essay? I can't understand a word of what is spoken in that that class"

"Yeah sure if you-"

"I know that you're a genius at it all so i figured I'd ask you." he interrupts.

"Well thanks I can help-"

"Yo, Scorp!" a voice recognizable as Albus'echoes down the corridor.

"What?" He yells back

"You wanna go work on that tranfig essay? We can try to unconfuse everything." He says catching up to them.

"Yeah sure thing," he turns to me "Sorry Rosie, never mind. Maybe we could catch up sometime?" He smiles at me and I just admire him for a while before saying,

"Yeah sure. I don't fancy helping you much anyway" I lie. But they are already walking away before I'm even half way through my sentence. I wish I could maybe get some time alone with Scorp, we never get to talk anymore. Or more, he never talks to me anymore. But I miss hearing his voice. And seeing him smile. And hearing his laugh. I almost even miss being interrupted by him. I wish he would listen to me though. No one ever listens.

But it's ok because I have my cutting. And my books. This would be a lot easier if I had any small amount of self respect and surrounded myself with people who actually gave a damn about what I had to say. But I don't have even a shred of self respect or self confidence. I know that I'm just a whiny know-it-all with unmanageable curly red hair and a thin unshapely figure. That's what my ex told me while he was yelling at me. He said that my freckles made me look like I've had mud permanently stuck to my face, and that my eyes always look like I'm about to cry, and that because I'm so short I make everyone feel too huge.

Thinking of this again, I got to my dormitory and went up to my bed. There was no one in the dorm room so I sat on my bed and let the tears spill over my eyes yet again. Sobs ripped through my body and my breaths tore at my lips. the cold air felt like shards of glass piercing my lungs. The tears cascading from my eyes soaked my cheeks and my nose began to run. I got that same familiar headache that always comes with the tears. I reached for my knife. My pale nimble hand trembled as i grasped the handle. Taking out my wand I performed sharpening and cleaning spell on the blade. Maybe I liked self harm but I don't want to deal with an infection.

Through my tears and sobs I pulled off my shirt and put the knife to my arm. I pulled the blade across my skin the familiar sharp, stinging pain shot across my arm. Blood appeared at the first cut this time. I moved on. I avoided the previously made cuts and cut all the way up my left arm and over my shoulder. The tears were falling from my cheeks and mixing with the blood. The blurriness in my eyes made it everything appear as though i was looking through one of those warped glass shower doors.

The emotions were still running through my veins, hurt, betrayal, confusion, meaninglessness, insignificance, defeat, annoyance. The blood leaving my body wasn't taking these feelings with it, like it's supposed to. So I shoved them away. I'd given them what they wanted. Now I was going to put on my mask and clean myself up. I went to the bathroom and over to my sink. I washed the blood of of my arm with my red cloth. There was about 5 cuts that were pretty deep so I put a few drops of ditano on them and the bleeding stopped.

I dragged myself back to my bed in the corner and magically cleaned my sheets. I pulled one of my overly sized quidditch jerseys over my head and crawled into my bed. I decided to sleep for the night in a row and face the nightmares. I was thoroughly exhausted by the emotional torment and decided that I needed the sleep. Caffeine just didn't do it for me sometimes.

_**A/N Reviews are greatly appreciated**_


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- I am Sooooooooooooo sorry about how long it took me to update! I've been having a difficult and complicated few months and haven't been feeling like I could continue this story for reasons unknown. But I decided that I needed to finish it, so here's one more chapter :) Please review and tell me what you think!

Chapter Three

Rose

I sat in the Great Hall eating supper. On my plate sat an undisturbed pile of mashed potatoes and a small salad which I was slowly picking away at. I sat alone to avoid being talked over by Albus, Tina and Scorpius who I usually sat with, as they were my only friends really. Tina and I shared a dorm with two other girls, Clyde and Nani. They were both rather nice girls but had a different group of friends than us. Me and Tina had bonded and were now relatively good friends. At least, as good as friends come with me. She would talk and I would listen. She would interrupt me when I tried to speak. The usual. I had introduced her to Scorp and Albus and we four had clicked. This was the first time in the 6 years of being at Hogwarts that I didn't sit with them at a meal. I get why they were concerned. But honestly, are they really going to only pay attention to me when I'm not there? At the only times when I don't want their attention?

I could see them out of the corner of my eye, sneaking glances at me then turning to whisper to each other. I felt like they were trying to poke me with their eyes their stares were so intense. I refused to look at them. They can worry and wonder all they like, but they aren't getting anything out of me. I've come up with a new strategy. I'm going to wait for people to talk to me and if they interrupt me I'm just going to walk away and leave them talking to my dust.

Scorpius

I looked down the table at Rose. She looked so sad. Not that she didn't always look sad but that's just the way that her features are set. Her full pouty lips and big, sad, never ending blue eyes just made her look sad. But it was different tonight. She actually looked like she might cry. Her lower lip was trembling slightly and her eyes looked glassy and wet. Her eyelashes came away wet after she blinked. She pulled her lip into her teeth and bit down, hard. I could see the red droplets form even from here. I could tell that she was trying really hard not to cry.

Rosie had always been a quiet little girl. She never talked much and would take shit from anyone. She never felt the need to stand up for herself. It drove me crazy. She believed whatever these assholes would tell her. I wish I had the guts to tell her otherwise but I just never knew what to say. She made me so nervous. She always has. And when I get nervous I tend to talk a lot. I bet she hates that I do that so often around her. I just can't help it. She's just too damn perfect.

"Uhhh dude...?" I hear and I feel something poke my arm. I look around and see Albus and Tina staring at me with slightly amused and bewildered expressions.

"What?" I ask automatically getting defensive.

"You've been staring at Rose for a good 5 minutes. Have you heard a single thing we've been saying?" Tina says now just looking amused.

"No. Was it interesting?" I ask,sounding annoyed, my defenses still up.

"Well we were talking about why Rosie isn't sitting with us" Al said nodding in Rose's direction.

"Oh," I said, a little less defensive now. "Well what'd ya reckon what's up with her?"

"No clue," Tina said. "She hasn't said anything to either of us, but that's no surprise." We all glanced over at her and just then she looked up at us her. Her eyes locked with mine and I saw the tears that were shining in her eyes. She looked back down at the table. Her hair curly red hair fell over her shoulder, covering her eyes, but I watched as a tear dripped off her nose. Unreasonable guilt ran through my veins.

I watched her as she got off the bench and quickly walked down the aisle, her bag hanging off her shoulder and her books clutched in her arm. Watching her be so sad just broke my heart.

"She's really upset..." I said to Al and Tina quietly.

"I've never seen her cry before..." Tina murmured, looking down at her plate.

"Me neither" Al says quietly.

"I've only seen her cry once. When her boyfriend broke up with her. She came to talk to me. I didn't really help her out much though. I just said sorry and kept working on my essay. I guess we've been neglecting her a little. I'm going to go find her and talk to her."

"Ok man, tell her we are sorry." said Albus, Tina nodded next to him.

"Will do," I said getting up and heading out of the Great Hall. I made my way through the winding chilled corridors towards the library. Arriving I found that she wasn't there. After searching the corners I left and headed for her dorm.

I was walking fast and got there in record time. I took the stairs by two and opened the door to her room. I gasped. Rose was in a heap on her floor in a puddle of blood. Her own blood. I stood there for a moment before the adrenaline rush my system and I lept towards her. I easily lifted her lite body off the floor and onto the bed. I grabbed my wand and preformed a cleaning spell to attempt to locate the bleeding. The blood was cleared and I looked at her arms. They were covered in cuts. Some where old and just white scars like mountain ridges on a globe. Some were newer and looked like a kid had drawn them on with a red crayon. But then there were the fresh ones. These were different than the old ones not only for the obvious reasons but they were deeper. Too deep. She was loosing a lot of blood.

I jumped into action. My feet carried me across the floor. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I fell to my knees beside her and laid her out on the floor. I grabbed my wand from my pocket and began healing her cuts. There was a lot. Too many. It took me about 20 minutes to stop all the bleeding. Once I did I easily scooped Rose off the floor and laid her out on her bed. I pulled her bloody clothes off of her and cleaned them with a quick spell.

Going over to her drawers I sorted through them to find a big enough shirt to cover her. Every shirt I picked up had blood stains. How long had this been going on? How had I looked over had bad things were? The guilt flooded through my stomach. I looked back at Rose. Her pale petite figure was laid out on the covers. Her long red hair splayed out beneath her. She looked so helpless and vulnerable...

Going back to looking through her drawer I found she really didn't own any big shirts. Then I had an idea. I scooped her up and cast an invisibility spell around us so we could go to my private dorm, which was courtesy of my father.

Once we reached my dorm I set her in the bed gently then grabbed a shirt of mine from the drawer. I slipped it over her body and pulled the black and green comforter set around her. Leaving her there I went over to my bathroom. I looked at myself. I looked the same, as always. Grey eyes, tousled golden blonde hair, firm jaw, decent nose and full lips. Broad shoulders and a small waist. I knew under my shirt I possessed washboard abs. I stood here, my height of 6'6" causing me to need to slump to see my whole form in the full sized mirror. I looked the same as always.

But I didn't feel the same.

I turned back and looked at Rose. She was beautiful. So delicate, so small. Looking at her made me want to simply wrap my arms around her and hold close to me. So, I stripped of all my clothes except my boxers and climbed into the bed next to her. I pulled her into my arms. Safe. Warm. Protected. Secure.

Mine.


	4. Chapter 4

Rose

My brain was foggy and there was a buzz in my ears. I couldn't form coherent thoughts. I was comfortable. I felt safe where ever I was. I don't remember ever feeling safe when I've woken up. Trying to think back to a time i felt safe, though, was too much work and made my head spin. So I closed my eyes and tried not to think. I let my eyes closed and tried to take in my surroundings. I was warm. Something warm and solid but soft at the same time was pressed against my back. There was a light pressure on the top of my head. What I assumed to be arms were wrapped around me. One at my waist and one around my shoulders. I made a guess that I was in a bed. Though not mine. A masculine and musky scent filled my nose. It was comforting.

Deciding it was time to open my eyes, I looked around the room. It was cozy. Not much to it. A dresser stood in the corner, a trunk at the end of the bed. A gold shag carpet was draped across the floor. A wooden door led to the bathroom which was tiled with a separate bath a shower. The bath was large and looked quite luxurious.

My headache isn't as bad now and I try to think about what happened last night. I remember leaving the great hall and going up to my dorm to cut. I remember crying quite a bit and then falling. I don't remember anything past that.

Supposing that it's time to see whose arms I've been sleeping in, I go to roll over, but the arms tighten around me. They are very nice arms. Strong and tan and very well toned. I wait for him to loosen his hold on and slowly shift myself around. With one last wriggle I'm facing his chest. But with that wriggle the arms tighten again and my face is pressed into neck. His bare skin is soft on my cheek. I sigh and just lay there for a moment, enjoying the feeling of being held like this. Then, with slight reluctance, I place my hands on his shoulders and push my self away gently. I look up into Scorpius's face.

At first, I'm just stunned. Then confused. Then happy. Then scared.

I reached up and touched his face, my palm curled along his jaw. His sleeping face smiled gently and he leaned his face into my hand. I smiled up at him. He was so cute sleeping here. He looked so care free. Sadness suddenly clutched in my chest. Sadness that he'd never be mine. Sadness that he'd never consciously hold me like this ever again. Sadness that he'd never want to. Sadness that he wouldn't listen to me, even if I told him I loved him and always have. Even though he ignores me. I feel the tears well up in my eyes. I panick. I can't let him wake up and find me sobbing in his arms. I start to squirm and wriggle my way out. I've almost gotten free of his arms, when I see his eyes open. I shoot off the bed and go to leave the room. I don't even care that I'm only wearing what appears to be his t shirt.

"Rosie. Stop," I hear him say from behind me. The tears are now flowing down my cheeks. I try to stop the sobs. I lean forward and press my forehead to the door and let the tears fall. Vaguely, I hear him get up off his bed and come over to me. I don't want him to see me crying. I turn my face away from him.

"Rosie... Come on. Look at me" He murmurs. He puts his hand on my shoulder and tries to turn me towards him. I jerk away from his touch and turn my back to him. Silent sobs wrack my shoulders. I double over as the sobs shake me. Then I feel his strong arms wrap around me from behind and pull my back against his chest, so that he's holding me up. I'm shaking against him, crying uncontrollably. He turns me around and gingerly holds my head against his chest while his other arm wraps himself around my waist.

"Rose..." He says into my hair. It only makes me cry harder.

We stand there for quite some time. He just held me until the crying subdued. Now that it had, he scooped me up, bridal style and carried me to his four poster bed. I had my usual post crying headache.

He was so gentle with me. He sat me down on the bed in a pile of pillows, and the sat cross-legged lower on the bed. I was looking at my hands, not wanting to meet his gaze.

"Rose..." I hear him murmur. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing," I mumble to my hands.

"Bullshit." he says. I'm surprised at his bluntness, and a little scared. He sees the fear in my eyes and his voice softens a little as he says, "Rose, last night I found you almost dead on your floor from having lost so much blood. It took my 20 minutes to make sure you were going to live. This morning I wake up and you're running away from me and crying. I've seen you cry, like, once and it was not even close to that. There's obviously something going on, so tell me."

"No." I saw the hurt in his eyes. I'd never refused to tell him something before.

"Why?"

"Because if I tell you that would involve me telling you something that you can't ever know." If I told him, then I'd have to tell him that I love him. He can't know that.

"Rose... Please?" I almost caved, seeing him so helpless and needing to know. But I couldn't.

"Scorpius, I'm sorry but I can't" I say sadly.

"I'm not leaving your side until you tell me." he said mischievously. I looked at him, bewildered.

"What about sleeping? and showering? and stuff like that?" I wonder, hoping for an answer that I'm pretty sure I won't get.

"You're going to stay here with me." YES YES YES YES YES YES YES! There is celebratory music playing in my head. I try my best not to show it on my face.

"But all my stuff is in my dorm..." I'm doing a good job at remaining expressionless.

"I can get a house elf to bring it down for you" He's smiling at me now. I'm not sure if he's joking or not...

"Are you serious?"

"Deadly" he smirks.

"But I can't leave Tina up there alone" I'm still protesting, even though I'm completely warmed up to the idea already.

"She'll manage. Rose, I'm not letting you do this to yourself anymore," he says grabbing my arms. "It's not healthy and I don't want you to get hurt. Ever. Never again" He's looking into my eyes and I can see how much he means this. I give him a small half-smile.

"Fine." I say. He grins.

I'm not sure if this is a good idea. But right then, with Scorp, I feel cared for. Like maybe, just maybe, there's someone in this world who loves me. Maybe not the way I love him, but still, he loves me. Though with my experience, I'm not the kind of person people love. It'll probably all backfire in my face and that stupid little part of my brain thinking this will say, I told you so. But there's no harm in enjoying this while it lasts.

Right?


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter Five**_

I'd been in the library all day, it being a Saturday, at my usual table in the corner, reading up on the subjects that we were going to be covering in charms this year. I went back to my dorm and found that all of my belongings weren't there. Tina was there though and said that there had been a house elf that came in this morning and removed it all and got it all to Scorp's room.

After hearing this I made my way through the corridors, chilled and dampened by the fall air, to Scorps private chambers. I knocked on the dark and heavy wooden door and opened it. I found my things arranged around my bed in the corner and Scorp standing there with a foolish grin on his face.

"Rosie!" He called happily, getting up off his bed and making his way over to me, leaning his muscular shoulders on the door. He wore black denim pants and a gray long sleeved waffle knit shirt that enhanced his built frame. "You better get used to things here. Because I'm not letting you rearrange them. I spent a lot of time on this." He said, looking at me with a playful smile and a twinkle in his eyes.

"Oh, don't worry it's-"

"Where were you today anyway? I tried to find you but I couldn't"

"Library, I was reading ahead-"

"Oh no wonder. You have your special spot that no one can ever find in that place"

"Actually, it's not hard to find, just follow-"

"Do you wanna go catch dinner? Al and Tina are probably down there." He said.

"No thanks" I managed to slip in. My momentary happiness from yesterday's conversation had gone, replaced by a sad submission. He would never truly want to hear what I had to say. No one would. It had always been and would always be that way. "I'm not hungry." I said, even as my empty stomach tried to leap out of me and accompany Scorp to dinner all by itself.

"Suit yourself." He said, and headed out of the room without a second glance.

I made my way over to the bed and spread myself out over the soft down comforter. I was surrounded by the warm and comforting dark teal of my bed spread. It reminded me of the beach near our house back home, the water always being something close to this color. That's my favorite way to spend my summers. Everyday I'll get up and eat, then grab my bathing suit, towel, picnic blanket, my notebook and the book I was currently reading and spend my day swimming, reading and writing. I would write about the things I read, sometimes just simple notes, but other times I would create elaborate stories depicting their lives. Sometimes Al and Scorp would be there if they were spending the night at Al's. His house was next to mine. Somedays we would all hang out together, but it was more like I'd watch them hang out and listen to them talk. I would mostly be ignored but I enjoyed the opportunity to be around Scorp. But my favorite days were the ones when I spent the whole day there in pensive thought and with no noise other than the ocean. The days when I fell asleep on my blanket as the sun went down and woke up to the high tide tickling my feet. My parents never noticed if I was gone overnight, since it was normal for me to skip dinner, and otherwise I would have been holed up in my room with my mind overrun by the words in front of me.

Thinking about the summer days that are like this a smile creeps across my face. No matter how neglected I am at home or school, no one could take the joy of those days away from me. Or, well, I'm sure that's actually not true, but it would take a lot for someone to do that. Like, if the beach were to be overrun by self centered and moronic peers. That would ruin it, but the likeliness of that happening is slim.

In the comfort of my bed, I start to drift off to sleep, but as I do my mind uncontrollably wanders to darker thoughts. Thankfully though, before I can tumble into another horrific nightmare...watching people die and scream and cry... The door to the room bursts open causing me to jump slightly and raise myself off the bed. I turn and look towards the door, seeing Tina walk in.

"Scorp said you were up here." She said, coming and sitting on the edge of my bed. "We missed you at dinner. Scorp and Al went out to the quidditch pitch. So I thought I'd come up here"

I nodded at her, not feeling in the mood for trying to have a conversation.

"So, you know that Ravenclaw guy? The one with the super dark hair and really brown eyes?"

I nod again. She's talking about Ashton, a guy that I have a few of my classes with. I've never talked to him before, but he seems nice enough. Him and his friends are pretty quiet, which I prefer to the boys who made all of those obnoxious noises and beat eachother up for fun.

"I think I like him, I mean, maybe not, but maybe so... He's very attractive. And very nice. He held the door for me when I walked into Charms the other day. It was quite charming. And gentlemanlike. He has a very cute smile. Have you seen those dimples?" Again, I nod. She can really go on about a guy. I mean, she can go on about anything, but especially about guys; the ones she hated or loved or the hot ones or snide ones, the ass faces and the sweethearts. She can do the same with girls, but it was usually the guys that hold her focus. As she rattled on my mind begins to wander, not wanting to listen to her ranting.

It wanders to Scorpius, my parents, classes this year, and then back to Scorpius. I can't believe that boy. He's perfectly awful. He wants to be there for me and make me feel better but he just doesn't know how I don't think. How are you supposed to help your best friend after thinking she's fine for years, then finding her bleeding to death on her bedroom floor? I know I wouldn't know what to do. I hope he figures something out though instead of giving up. If he gives up on me I don't know what I'll do. I could just . . . Die. That would be the best solution. When he gives up on me so do I.

I tune back in when I hear the door open and close. Looking up I see Scorpius walk in with a small plate of food. His long sleeves are pushed up to his elbows and his blonde hair is hanging over is startlingly grey eyes. Tina gets up as he walks in and says she'll go and let us be.

She slips out the door waving over her shoulder. Scorp come and lowers himself onto my bed where Tina had just been sitting.

"I brought you some food from the kitchens, in case you get hungry" he murmurs indicating a plate with a bread roll, an apple, some cheese and some crackers.

I smile up at him and reach out for the bread roll. As I do so the sleeve of my baggy sweater falls up my arm, revealing the red cuts and blood stained skin. panic shoots through me at the danger of him seeing and I snatch my arm back before I even grab the roll, pulling my sleeve back down my arm. The look he fixes me with is so tender and concerned that it shocks me. His brows furrow cutely and his eyes look into mine. He reaches out his big hand and take hold of mine drawing my arm towards him. His eyes never leave mine while he does this, but then he looks down and pushed my sleeve up my arm, slowly. The cuts are revealed, the new ones, the healing ones, the fading ones, the scars.

"Rosie..." he murmurs again. He looks up at me and I'm so surprised to see that there are tears in his eyes that I reach out my other hand and place it against his cheek. In the process of doing this my sleeve falls back revealing more cuts. "Rose I'm so sorry..." He whispering his eyes meeting mine. They glisten with unshed tears. "Where else are they?" He asks me so quietly that I barely hear him. I slowly tug my arm away from his grasp and gently step off the bed. I remove my sweater, revealing a tight black tank top, and cuts that go up to my shoulders. His eyes scan my torso and I watch in astonishment as a tear runs down his cheek. He wipes it away quickly. I then remove the tank top and now I'm standing in front of him in my grey bra that cups my C cup breasts. But that's not where he's looking, surprisingly. He's staring at my hips, which bear at least as many cuts as my arms. I usually stick to my arms but during a particularly bad phase last year I started at my hips, and just never stopped. My hands grab hold of the hem of my pants and I pull them off. Stepping out of my leggings, I stand there, holding my breath waiting for him to react to the even great amount of cuts on my thighs. He closes his eyes and I reach out and touch his cheek as another tear slides down.

"Rose... How did it get so bad, and none of us ever knew? I didn't even know you did this until last night. How do none of us know about this? Why didn't you tell me?" His face twisting inn sadness and he looks a bit disappointed as well.

"You never asked." I say simply. His eyes fly open as my words register in his mind.

"I never asked. You're right. Rose. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for never asking. I'm so sorry for not being there. I'm so sorry for letting this happen to you Rosie. I'm so sorry for everything." As he says this his hands reach out and touch my cuts. His hands run over the cuts on my arms, the cuts on my legs and finally his hands come to a stop on my hips. And then my heart stops.

Scorpius picks me up by my hips and lift me onto the bed so that I'm laying on my back. He moves so that hes above me and then he leans down to my arm and kisses every cut on my arm. Then he move down and kisses my thighs and then my hips. All the while as he does this my mind is reeling at what is going on. At the fact that he's kissing my body while I'm in my underwear. At the fact that he's kissing me at all. At the fact that as he lays his cheek against my stomach it's wet with tears.

"Scorp, I'm sorry" I murmur looking down at him resting his face on my stomach.

He turns his head, resting his chin against my stomach and looks up at me through his wet lashes.

"Why are you sorry Rosie? You didn't do anything." He gives me a half hearted little smile.

"But I made you cry..." I murmur looking away.

"Rose I'm sad that you are this hurt. You didn't do anything. And I'm confused about why you do this to yourself" He says as he drags himself up, resting his body against the pillows and putting a finger under my chin so that I have to look at him. "Why do you do this?"

"Because no one cares about me" I whisper. I feel my eyes prickle with tears. "Everyone ignores me and doesn't listen to me. Even you"

"I do? Rosie I'm so sorry" He reaches out and pulls me into his chest. "I promise you I'm going to start listening and I'll never neglect you again. Not ever." He buries his face into my neck and I wrap my arm up and around his neck holding it there as I rest my cheek to his head. I feel his shoulders gently shake. "I love you Rosie. I'm so sorrry that it felt like I didn't" He then pulls away from me and my heart stop as he leans in.

And places a soft, gentle kiss to my lips.


End file.
